My Ex Emotionally Cheated on Me for 9 Months…I Feel Like I Have Trust Issues now.
My Ex Emotionally Cheated on Me for 9 Months…I Feel Like I Have Trust Issues now.
My ex-boyfriend emotionally cheated on me for 9 months and after calling him every name under the sun (which he deserved), I can calmly deal with him now (lots of mutual friends). I am seeing positives for my future and seeing all the new possibilities for me. I have accepted things and I’m moving on. My question is though: even though I know that he didn’t just like this person just for her looks, and it was probably that I didn’t meet his other needs, how do I feel pretty and desirable again around men? Dating again (eventually) feels scary. I feel like whoever I date next will ultimately lose interest for someone new and different no matter what I do. I feel lost. I feel like I have trust issues now.

Thank you so much for your question and your honesty.

I want to start by saying, if you don’t feel desirable within yourself, you won’t feel this way around men.

At the end of the day, you’re only ever in control of who you choose to be. You can put energy into making sure the people you date don’t lose interest or you can put energy into feeling amazing within yourself. One will be controlling, fearful and attached and the other will be empowering, exciting and magnetic.

Here are my top tips for building self-trust so you feel more desirable:

Firstly, identify and release the limiting beliefs that keep popping up and choose new, more empowering beliefs. An example of this could be; instead of “people always lose interest in me”, you can shift to “I know I’m desirable and worthy of love just by being my true self”

Secondly, date yourself! This could be dancing, running a bath, dressing up, making a nourishing meal or going for a nice long walk.

Finally, spend time discovering who you want to be, what you really desire and what you need in order to make it happen.

By Lauren Johnston, Self-Love & Relationship Coach

If you’re struggling with your love life, feel free to contact Lauren via Instagram @laurenjohnston___.

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