As the old adage says “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” Some people believe that a woman has never looked more beautiful than when she is pregnant – hence the term “pregnancy glow.” But, just like with everything in life, there is more than one opinion on the matter. Some people think starting a family, changing your routine and body shape, as well as possibly changing your social norms is a very scary thing! Which, in turn, brings fear to a lot of women (and a lot of men too!)
The first question I have for you is how much do you like yourself? Your self-esteem involves a variety of beliefs about yourself, such as how you look, how you feel and how you gauge your personal successes or failures. If you have healthy self-esteem, you are likely to feel positive about your abilities and have a happier approach to life, in general. Whereas, if you have low self-esteem, there is poor self-image with a variety of problems that can affect most everything in your life.
The fears you have surrounding starting a family and being too old and unattractive mentally and physically, are fears within yourself. You have to look at these concerns and determine the root of where they truly stem from; only then will you be able to determine having children and changing your life in such a drastic way is right for you.
No matter who you are in this world, maintaining physical beauty is a work in progress as we age, whether we have children or not. But maintaining inner beauty is more important for sanity – as well as shining through to amplify your physical beauty.
3 Tools to Help You with Your Self-Esteem
1. List the pros and cons of family life and having children. Make sure you write down all the things you think would be good and all of the things you think would be bad.
2. Take the cons list and make a list of all the fears in the cons list. When you’re done with that, write down next to them whether you can control it, or if it is out of your control.
3. Then, look at the fears that you can’t control and reframe them another way: i.e “I can’t change the fact that I will get old one day, but I can surrender to that fact and know that I can choose to age gracefully by taking care of myself inside and out.” What you look at is controllable; realise that you just need to become conscious of your thoughts and that you have full control over external factors that may speed up your physical aging process (weight gain, skin damage, physical endurance, etc).
By HeatherDriscoll, Life Coach
If you’re struggling with your life, feel free to reach out Heather via Instagram @your_coach_heather_driscoll or https://enlightenmentmethod.com/