I Feel Extremely Depressed Due to a Toxic Relationship… What Should I Do?
I Feel Extremely Depressed Due to a Toxic Relationship… What Should I Do?
Q:
I was in a toxic and draining relationship with a person whose parent was also terminally ill, and has now passed. Since then he has broken up with me and moved to another city. I’m feeling extremely depressed and confused.
A:

Thanks for being brave and writing in and putting energy into your healing and happiness.


From what I have learnt about depression – depression is suppression, meaning that allowing your emotions to be felt and validated is what’s most important. Our emotions are guideposts, and they are always leading us to what we need – which can feel uncomfortable.

Here are 3 exercises for you to try:


1. Give yourself space and time to feel

Our lives are increasingly busy, and feeling our heavier feelings is often the thing we avoid the most – it’s uncomfortable and inconvenient. Nobody wants to be the girl crying in the bathroom stall at work, but sometimes it’s what’s needed. Our emotions need around seven minutes in the body in order to run their cycle, so set your timer on your phone, lay down or sit somewhere quiet and let whatever feelings and emotions are present for you to arise.


2. Get out in nature

When we feel the weight of the world upon us, our natural tendency can be to run from or numb the feeling, and we do this through a number of different vices. The most common ones are: wine, fast food, sugar, scrolling social media or shopping. Behaviours that afford us only a temporary “fix”, which isn’t really a fix when you realise that it hasn’t taken the pain away at all. Cue: nature. Mother Nature is the great healer, and one of the quickest ways to get out of your head and into your body. Whether it’s an ocean swim, a bush walk, or laying on a beach – you will never regret time in nature.


3. Reflect on the lessons

Every person who comes into your life is a mirror and a teacher, either mirroring back an unhealed trauma (“daddy issues” is a common one I see in my clients), or delivering a valuable lesson. Now that the relationship has ended, reflect on what they taught you about you. What were they reflecting back to you? Where were you settling? What have you learnt?


Whilst you may not feel ready to date again, I recommend writing a list of everything you are calling in in your next partnership, so the Universe knows what to direct your way.

As hard as it may feel, forgive yourself and this other person, and have compassion for yourself for allowing this relationship into your life. Until we take radical responsibility for our lives, we’re powerless to change anything and we miss the growth opportunity.



By Anna Squelch, Holistic Life Coach


If you’re still struggling with your life, feel free to join Anna’s Radical Blueprint Mastermind online program - https://annasquelch.com/radical-blueprint-mastermind


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