If you ask anyone, they’ll probably tell you that their childhood wasn’t a walk in the park. Even if you didn’t suffer heavy trauma or severe bullying for example, there are still some things that happened to you in your past that will stay with you.
Unfortunately, what happens to you in your past can carry through with you until your adult years and it’s only when you delve into the reasoning for your symptoms that you can begin to ease them.
In particular, these 5 emotional wounds or painful experiences from childhood have the power to shape our personality and minds as adults. Take a look and see which one you most identify with…
The feeling of rejection in childhood can be a very deep wound. Many factors can influence this trauma, like rejection from parents, family, or peers. When it happens, it generates more thoughts of rejection, of being undesirable or of being worthless. Anyone who suffers from this painful experience will end up feeling undeserving of affection and understanding, and they may isolate themselves, afraid of being rejected. Those who have been rejected as children tend to become. Symptoms of this trauma include:
- Lack of self-respect
- Isolation leading to loneliness
If this is the case for you, steps toward healing involve learning to take risks and make decisions for yourself. It will bother you less and less every time someone drifts away, and you won’t take it personally if someone forgets about you for a moment.
Loneliness is the worst enemy of anyone who experienced abandonment as a child. People who fear loneliness due to their childhood trauma are more likely to abandon their partners and even their careers early on, for fear of being the one who is abandoned.
Symptoms of this trauma include:
- Problems with independent functioning and fear of loneliness
- Suffering from sadness without knowing its cause
- Crying alone
- Problems with making decisions and acting independently, picking on others
- Not listening to the advice of others
- Problems ending relationships
People who have experienced abandonment in their childhood will have to work on their fear of loneliness, their fear of being rejected, and their invisible barriers against physical contact. Wounds caused by abandonment are not easy to fix. However, once the healing process begins, people with these fears often experience drastic improvement: their fear of solitude disappears and is replaced by hope.
When a child is betrayed, mainly by a parent who has not fulfilled a promise, this creates a fear of trusting others. This tendency to mistrust can transform into other negative feelings, as one can feel unworthy of what was promised and of what others have.
Those who were betrayed often as children may grow up to be controlling people who need everything to be exactly the way they want it. They likely feel the need to exercise a certain amount of control over others, which they frequently justify as being a part of their strong character.
Other symptoms of this trauma include:
- A constant need to improve
- High expectations of others
- Lack of trust in the opposite sex
- Problems with confiding to others
- Lack of tolerance and impatience
- Imposing your point of view on others
People with this trauma must work on patience, tolerance, and knowledge, and they must learn how to be alone and how to delegate responsibilities.
This fear originates in environments where your parents may have been cold towards you.
A direct behavioural consequence of injustice is inability to change, and these people generally try to be very important and acquire a lot of power. Other symptoms of this trauma include:
- Difficulties in admitting to experiencing problems
- Constant optimism
- Controlling yourself to always be perfect
- Fear of losing control
- Problems showing feelings
People who suffered injustices in childhood must work on lowering their levels of mistrust and mental rigidness in order to be more flexible and allow themselves to trust others.
Did you recognise yourself in any of these childhood traumas? Knowing and recognising these traumas that can affect our adult wellbeing, health, and capacity to develop as people, allows us to begin to heal them. First though, you must become aware of the trauma and accept it.