No One Likes Being ‘Left On Read’…
You know the feeling. You’ve sent a text, perhaps something with important information in it, a request to make plans, or even just a text to say hello. You patiently await a response and realise a fair amount of time has gone by. You check your WhatsApp and *oh god* you see the two blue ticks meaning not only has your message been delivered, the person has received it and IGNORED IT!
What could this mean? Does it mean that they’re trying to get out of making plans with you, or think you’re silly for sending such an emotional text? When you’ve been left on read, your mind can spiral and leave you open to many different scenarios, most of them negative.
With most of us sending hundreds of messages a day, whether that via email, text, social media, it’s not surprising that some are missed. However, when you’re waiting on a response from your friend, boyfriend or boss, things can seem a lot worse than they are! What should you do? Follow up with another text, get angry or simply just wait?
Here’s how to get over being left on read by rationalising things before jumping to all those negative conclusions – it’s not you!
#1 Stay Calm
Sometimes it’s easy to panic and worry you’re being ghosted and begin to catastrophise the situation in your head. After a couple of hours of pranging out, you’ll be an anxious mess! There’s no point worrying about something you have no control over, nor know the circumstances for. The best thing to do is try to distract yourself by getting on with something else while you’re waiting for a response. 9 times out of ten, the person will come back to you by the time you’ve finished your task.
#2 It’s Their Personal Style
Sometimes it can be a given that everyone is available at all times due to social media, but in fact some people are just the worst at responding! One of my friends has the worst habit of reading a message and intending to reply later and then just…not. I did speak to her about it once and she said she always had good intentions of replying to people, then by the time she remembered, too much time had gone by and she felt embarrassed. It is annoying, but you can’t often change people’s habits.
#3 They Are Simply…Busy
Trust me, more often than not, people aren’t ignoring you. Life moves really fast and with work and socialising, sometimes replying to a message isn’t someone’s priority. Even during lockdown, even if people aren’t commuting and doing ‘normal’ things, they still may be busy, or even just taking a day out from social media or their phones in general. If you know that the person you’ve been texting is normally responsive, it’s likely they became busy or distracted – it happens! If it’s time sensitive, i.e. you need an answer from your boss, perhaps try to give them a call to get a quicker answer.
#4 Sometimes It’s Best To Let It Go
Although most of the time it’s likely that someone is busy, distracted or just forgot about replying to you and leaving you on read, sometimes it might be that they are doing just that…leaving you on read. Although it’s horrible, when people try to distance themselves from us, especially if it’s romantically, it’s likely that you will try to chase them to find out why or keep messaging to try to gain their affection. Don’t lower your own standards to be noticed by someone else when it’s clear that they aren’t giving you the same attention. If they’re not making any effort to continue communication, take it on board. Don’t give them 100% if they’re not giving you even 1%.
Remember, someone replying to you isn’t your value and it’s not a reflection on you.
Finally…Aren’t You Just As Bad?
We’ve been speaking about how busy we all are – can you honestly say that you’ve never left a message for a few hours or accidentally forgotten to respond to an email? Sometimes life just gets in the way, and the person on the other end of the phone is likely to be feeling a bit worried, too. The best thing to do is simply to send a quick message apologising for the delay and respond to their message. You don’t need long-winded excuses or justifications and you shouldn’t expect that from anyone else, either.